December 2008
28 posts
Furthering my new adult lifestyle, I now own a matching watch and briefcase. They are done in very adult materials: goldtone metal and black crocodile. Now if someone would just get me this:
(a coffee maker that also grinds the beans for you)
I would marry them, have their children, host a few dinner parties, and call it a night.
Today my dad got me my Christmas present. It’s a suede toolbelt, with all the tools I’ll need and sandpaper and nails and electrical tape. I feel like this is an important step toward independence. I pride myself on being pretty self reliant, but now I can really get shit done.
One New Years I babysat two kids who were so afraid of my dad’s ventriloquist dummy they wouldn’t go to sleep. I pacified them by throwing it in a garbage bag, wrapping it in duct tape, and dumping it in the snow. It worked, but I think I may have taught them how to dispose of a body. Their mom never hired me again.
New Years
I’ve never been to a bar on New Years before.
Usually I go to a somewhat sad party in someones basement or carpeted rec room and get far too drunk on hard liquor cut with pop. Then I eat a lot of potato chips and pass out.
Last year I went sledding and drank coffee cut with booze in the snow and had a really nice time, but I spent that night with someone who isn’t really in my...
This morning I opened my suitcase and found a dead mouse. Merry Christmas from my stupid cat.
Merry Christmas everyone!
I hope it’s wonderful.
“It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes...”
Images from the Venice Biennale of Architecture
Architecture Farm by Akihisa Hirata
I wonder what the girl lying on the floor on the top left is doing.
Estudio Teddy Cruz
Echoes Converge by Ball-Nogues Studio
The Radix House by Shu Chang Kung
I found these images here, and there are so many more wonderful and bizarre things that I’m cursing my dialup.
Holiday Party Smalltalk
Susan: So what do you do in a typical day at Queen's?
Eva: Well, usually I'm on campus working until about 6. Then I go home and eat something and lie around for a bit. Then I'll usually do another couple of hours of work. Then I'll go out around 10:30, flip over some cars and set them on fire. I'll dance around with my hands in the air for a while, then when I get home I usually dance on the coffee table for about an hour.
Mom: You forgot about smashing the beer bottles on the street.
Being home: the novelty wears off
I have period cramps and nobody at this party will stop singing karaoke.
This is what Caroline bought me for Christmas:
It’s a book that Victoria Beckham wrote about how to cop her style. After obsessively reading it I handed it over to my mom. Now she keeps asking me things like:
“Where can I buy these Victoria Beckham jeans?”
and
“Do you think this blouse looks good with this vintage belt?”
Things I like about being home:
-The CBC is always playing in the back room
-The woodstove
-There are always gin and tonics after dinner
-When I wake up there is coffee ready, and it’s really good, and it’s probably organic
-All of the soap smells good
I’m finally home for the holidays, but I have another paper due in a couple of days that I plan to submit by email, which will bring my December count of pages I have written about soils to about 50. I can’t wait until it’s all over and I can go to a skating party and get drunk underneath some minilights.
Part of me can’t wait until university is all over and I have some...
My Nice List: Housemate Christmas presents
Laura: For Laura I got a game called Globetrotters. It’s like Twister, except instead of colours you put your feet on continents. I also got her a couple of fireworks.
Caroline: For Caroline I got a gift certificate to the flower shop down the block and some multicoloured sparklers
Margaret: I gave Margaret the menu to a meal I will make her of all her favourite foods, including...
If you don't like this post, then maybe your dad...
The lowest place on Earth is the Mariana Trench, which gets as deep as 10.9 kilometres.
The highest place above the ocean on Earth is Mount Everest at 8848 metres above sea level:
But if you define the highest point on Earth by how close it is to space and to the moon, it’s Mount Chimborazo in Ecuador:
Because the earth is shaped like this:
Which makes me want to go to Ecuador...
My favourite ever Christmas presents
A feather duvet
A jackknife
An electric pencil sharpener
A red Sigg bottle
Sharpies
And when I was little I loved every doll I got. I used to sleep with them all lined up across my bed. I still curl up on the edge of the bed when I sleep.
All I want for Christmas
Thick warm sweaters that don’t itch
A bedside table
Nightgowns
Wine
Druide products
Amazon gift certificates
Fireworks
Canvasses to paint on
Lavender Bubble Bath
Food gift certificates
“Well it might seem strange but what you gonna do / When no one in your...”
– Jenny Whitely (Dance Till Dawn)