I’ve taken on two challenging jobs and have become one of those tediously self pitying people who, when asked how they are, sheepishly say “busy” and change the subject.
I find myself remembering those grade 7 health videos, where they tell you that alcoholics can be anywhere, they can be successful people with a job, and you might never know their secret. And I think, but how come I don’t have time to be an alcoholic? And I fantasize about keeping a flask in my drawer at work, showing up at meetings quietly drunk, going home to television and Coors Light, all of the stereotyped scenarios that those volunteer actors warned us about.
And I don’t mean to belittle alcoholism, I guess I just want to be destructive and let things fall casually apart. But that will always be hard for me. Harder than that time in grade 7 health class when….
I’m learning to fish, and I’m trying to be very professional about it. No big thing.
“I think I might be one. I used to feel guilty throwing out a piece of paper even, like I was going to hurt its feelings. So I’d keep all of it in a box, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt.” — “J” on Hoarders
for posterity!
Before people get to know me they usually think I am proper. I think it’s because I used to do theatre when I was like - 4 to 10, and so I enunciate everything when I’m kind of nervous. That and I went to a stodgey university. So last night:
T: Do you want to smoke some pot? Naw, you’re too perfect for that. Do you even drink?
Me: Well yeah. My ride’s due in a few minutes though.
T: Enough time for a toke. Here, here’s how the choke works. *starts to hand it to me*
Then I threw up on the lawn. Sorry girl but I am just too badass 4 ur pot.
My 51 year old mother just called and suggested we do a pole dancing class together.
I was like nuh uh no way not happening OK WHY NOT!
I’m looking for clothing patterns online and it is a WHOLE NEW STRATOSPHERE of crazy fashion options. Yes that IS a bun on the top of middle bottom’s forehead. Like a unicorn unhorned.
This week I found out that I got a job, and I’m so happy about it. I actually get to do some good for my community and the environment and get paid for it. I mean, sure, it’s weird hours part time and I’m on contract. But every time I think about it I kind of explode a little inside.