Friend: My boyfriend just moved into a new apartment and it’s a mess. Piles of hungry man boxes on the floor, beer bottles everywhere, and the guy he lives with is a coke dealer.
Me: Uh. Jeez well, that sounds depressing.
Friend: Yeah. Oh maybe I exaggerated. He just always keeps a bit of coke with him to deal.
Me: Oh, well, that’s a little better?
Friend: And his room has blood on the walls because somebody tried to kill themself there.
Me: !!!! Is that even… !!!
Friend: Oh don’t worry, it’s dried blood.
